Assertive Communication to Manage Conflict

Welcome to a community of kind, thoughtful people who want respect for all,

Assertive communication is the key to managing conflict. Regardless of the kind of conflict - a coworker claims your work as hers, a neighbor who parks in your parking spot, a child who refuses to do chores, a spouse who forgets to call when he/she is going to be late- all are opportunities to use assertive behavior to confront the issues and solve the conflict.

Being assertive is a respectful way to get what you want without being pushy

Learn to communicate with confidence for results and respect.

Here are five steps to approach conflict that can build strong relationships and establish boundaries.

1. Define the conflict in terms of your needs.
2. Ask questions of the other person about possible solutions
3. Choose a solution that meets both needs
4. Put together a plan of action that gives responsibilities to both parties
   
   
5. Evaluate the solutions

Don't Accuse or use "you statements"

It may be easier to say "You keep parking on my side of the parking lot. You are so inconsiderate." You statements automatically put the other person on the defensive and lessen the odds of getting to a good solution.

"I statements" put the situation in terms that do not accuse, but only state what you want to happen. "I need to have my full parking space, so I don't have to worry about scratching my car." When you communicate your needs, you are stating your position and setting your boundaries. In effect you are setting up a foundation that allows for dialog and coming to a solution that is fair for all.

Solutions Should be Fair

Conflict is not resolved if you have won and the other person has lost. If you are not sure if it was fair, ask yourself if you would have been satisfied had the other person gotten his way and you would have lost. Will that resolve the conflict?

Assertive behavior indicates that you are self-confident enough to hear and accept the truth.

As you can see, if you want to learn the steps to confront conflict with respect and fairness, you will want to become more confident and practice setting boundaries in all relationships. If you want to see results faster, you will want to go to http://www.confidentclues.com

I have confidence in you.